building angd rebuilding the company-the tortoise and the hare story

Today was all about planning for 2010. It is hard to believe that my company, balancing life's issues, has been around for going on 9 years, but it has. So today I met a potential new client and a very good existing client. It is all about moving forward. I am so the tortoise..slow and steady. Joe Connolly was saying that it is hard to have a business that continues to do better every year...but so far so good ..we have. I listen hard and try everything and anything..including blogging. What works for you??

Divorce in the Holidays with Teens

When my children were little I thought that splitting the holidays was hard. I didn't realize that it would get weirder and harder as they got older and more independent. Now they drive and have their own lives. So, there is no custody agreement ... no piece of paper that tells them where and when to go with whom. It really is up to them and I have to accept it and move on. What have I learned is to sit down with the teens and talk to them about their expectations and wishes for this session. I do explain that they need to be firm and commit to some time with each of us. Since my ex and I do not talk they need to communicate with him as well.

Then the rest of the work is mine. I accept the path my life has taken and I examine the blessings it has given me. 3 amazing children/young adults and I cherish every second, minute, hour and day I get to have with them!!

Thanksgiving is over.. college kids are gone

The anticipation of my children coming home is over..the days zipped by and now they are back. It is the weirdest, saddest, most bizarre feeling in the world. First let me be honest I love, love, love being a mom.. it is the most fun and challenging job and passion that a person could have. I enjoy seeing what my children are capable of and the challenge of pushing them to strive for the sky. Having said that it is a bizarre worldwind when they come home. The nice clean orderly house gets in totally disarray. Food zips out of the fridge and kids come in and out and in and out....and then they are gone. Many of the clients I speak to struggle with being a parent for college age kids..they worry about curfews and feel they have lost totally control-- I tell them to be confident and listen to their own voices. I still believe that once my child always my child. In any case-- thank goodness they come home in 3 weeks!!

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

Touche! Poor choice of words but my point is right on - as a divorced > single > remarried woman the lightbulb went off to me when I realized I had to "coach" my husband (is that a less offensive word?). It has certainly increased my pursuit of happiness when he helps me do the laundry, shopping, and cooking for 5 children, 2 adults, and 4 pets.......get the point?
About Happiness
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

First off..why is a man writing this?!



As a work/life specialist I talk to thousands of women every month and this is all I hear: frustration and disappointment while waiting for their lives to get better.



Women have to speak up appopriately and let some stuff go!! I have trained my children and husband to help... HOW? I learned how to ask in a way that works.... Women need to re-prioritize and focus on the pursuit of happiness...



As I talk to my college-age daughter about this I hope to emphasize that happiness is up to us to pursue..we need to set the goals, dream the dreams and achieve all while remembering that it takes the skill of delegating and saying "no" to do this.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Its all about Motivation

Yesterday was Monday. I love Mondays. Diets start on Mondays, I exercise a little harder on Mondays, I am a good worker and parent on Mondays. Why? I am motivated. However, today is Tuesday and I am not so motivated.
In my work I see so many people set such wonderful goals and then stop. I believe the answer is motivation. So, I will re-wire my brain to motivate myself to eat well, go to the gym, send my husband a nice email and give my kids a great big hug.

Yeah for Tuesdays.... I am psyched!

A Terrible Mistake

Yesterday, I learned a valuable lesson that I knew but I needed to be reminded. Chaos broke out in my house because my 3 "children" are sharing a car. One took the car and was late getting back so I needed to drive one to work. Of course, there was screaming and yelling and more chaos.

As we were driving to work--still yelling at each other-- the traffic stopped and the parkway was closed.... apparently, one car had gone the wrong way on the highway and collided with 2 others. 8 people dead in 5 minutes.... 4 children

what were we arguing about?

Be careful with words--learning from Sotomayor

I watched the Confirmation hearings today and was intrigued with Sotomayers comments that the choice of her words wasn't just right. I so understand that. As a speaker I agonize over that all the time. Sotomayor said one thing about being a Latino and meant another thing.... We really need to take a step back and give people a break. I worry all the time that I will use the wrong word or words and that people will be offended. I do realize that you can't take back what you have said but I also know we should be able to explain what we meant..... Cant we all be a little bit more forgiving???

Maybe Parents Should Worry

I am really suprised how many parents tell me...OH, I don't worry about that? How do they do that ? I worry about all my children all the time. I have learned that that is a really good thing. I believe it is my intuition telling me I should step up to the plate and address an issue with one or all of them. For instance, I knew that my son was itching to get his license and the quicker the better. I just wasnt doing a good enough job teaching him and I was worried that he was going to pass and then drive alone!!! I really was worried.... that worry motivated me to hire a driving teacher to teach him how to merge, park, and handle changing lanes. All the things that I just couldnt' do.... so, thank you to my worries because my son passed and drove to the store for me yesterday and guess what I wasn't really worried!!!

Opporunity to Speak in Jordan

I am so excited ... I have been asked to be a corporate ambassador next month at a global conference in Jordan. this is a chance for me to learn and speak about what I truly believe is my passion..work/life balance.... the right combination. It is this that motivated to get up out of my nice comfy bed and drive my 20 year old to work. Why? Because that gives us 10 minutes of quality time to chat and connect. Then I am off to the gym? Why? not because I like it ( I wish!) but because it feels amazing when it is done. That just starts my day..then my 16 year old takes his driving test.... boy, do I have a mix bag of emotions there...But all in all I have a great life that is a scrambled mix of work. life, love and emotion---

Dont be afraid of your children..or Teenagers

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, we really do know better. It hit me last night that I parent the best when I look deep inside of myself and trust me. It is my instinct that seems to help steer me in the right direction. I need to take a deep breath and understand that they may also include conflict and discourse but that's my job. I signed up to do my very best. I have been helping my son get a summer job and it has been incredibly frustrating. I feel like ripping the phone from him and doing it myself. That is not the point. I must mentor and teach him the life skills to do it himself even if it means he loses the job....UGH!!

Outraged Parent-Rule to be a Decent Parent

How do you not pick up your child on time? I do not understand how that can happen. If your child is away or at a party don't you establish a pick up time and be there 10 minutes early? Especially today when we have cell phones we can reach our children/teenagers and work out a plan. It is not the responsibility of the world to get your child home. I have seen teens not have anyone there and not only does it break my heart I worry that they will never get home. As much as I believe that it takes a village to raise a child please be responsible for your own first!

Preparing the Parent for Prom

So this is a big week for our family.  both my step-son and daughter have their proms.  Thankfully, they are not on the same day.  I have decided to print out an agenda and to do list.  Dress, Tuxs, limos, buses, weekend schedule..It is really insane but amazing.  I now realize that the Prom is a ritual that will help my children transition to the next stage of their life--college. I must admit I am so anxious.  I am jealous that my parents couldn't call me during or after the Prom (obviously we did not have cell phones)  I am going to try very, very hard not to call and keep the worrying to a minimual.  Will I succeed?  I would love to hear from other parents on making the Prom fun and safe!

SuperMoms Roundtable

WNBC 4NY Logos_Rev4
Originally uploaded by Kloomba

I am pleased to inform you all that I will be a panelist in the SuperMoms Roundtable- an event organized  by Go Red and for a great cause- Women's Heart Health! Please click on the image to the right to learn more information.

Gearing Up for the end of school year

Yesterday I went with my children and a friend to the mall.  We were graduation shopping.  All I saw was moms with their babies in their strollers.  Then I saw young children playing in the Build a Bear workshop.  What happened with my children? Where did the time go?  I am so sad that the days have gone by.   This week is my daughter last ballet recital.  She started when she was 3---and now 14 years later it is over.

What I have learned--

today when I go to my son's lacrosse game I am going to focus and be grateful that he is still in high school and I can go to the game ( an added bonus is it is not raining!).  I am reminded how much I love my children and get to hug and kiss them one more time.

I have also learned that I am not done being a parent and that I still get to make my mark on them.  I am infusing as many of my values as I possibly can.  I am motivated to have that extra discussion with them.

Lets all enjoy the day to day routines before they are over!!

Daniel Comes Home for College

Saturday my 20 year old son comes home from college. I am so excited, nervous, and worried. We had a long talk about readjusting to Home life and being "parented" again. It brings to mind that we need to prepare to have him home again.
1-- talk about family rules and respect issues. Is it OK to stay out all night? Why or why not?
2--helping in the house-this is a big adjustment where in college you just take care of you
3--talk, talk, and talk.... it maybe 2 minutes at a time but talk through all the range of emotions.
4- acknowledge how Daniel is feeling.. it is hard for me but super hard for him.

so, hopefully after some conversations, and maybe in conflicts, we will get back in to a routine and develop an even stronger bond. I am certainly looking forward to trying!!!!

Not happy with how I handled my son

Yesterday, my 16 year old son found out that he is out of Lacrosse for 1 week (or more) due to a possible concussion.  He is feeling disappointed and frustrated about not being able to play in today's big game.  He had such a difficult morning getting ready for school and mouthed off quite a few times.  I should have just walked away, put some music on or left early for the gym. 

 Instead I went right into argument and made it 100 times worse than it needed to be.  What did I do? Yell back, Focus on his negative behavior and criticize him.  What should I have done? It is so important to remember as a parent that we are the teachers, the role model.  I truly could have more been patient, walked away, hugged him and let it all go.

I will tell him I am sorry and learn from this... .thank goodness I get a do over to be a better parent!

Radio Show Interviews on Work/Life Balance for the Monday Morning Blues

Lately, people have been asking me about work/life balance during a Recession. It is even more important today to make sure that are lives stay well-balanced. The idea is if we work really, really, really hard than nothing can happen to our jobs...not true!!!! we have to enjoy our whole lives, our friends, our family, our homes, pets... more than ever. So, that we can go back to work reenergized and feeling good. That way we can contribute the most to work and be the team player that everyone wants to work with. Get up , exercise, eat a healthy small portion breakfast and crank out monday and the rest of the week will be all good.

Watching my Sons Lacrosse Game

Today is my son's JV lacrosse game.  I have learned, finally how to be a good mom and watch from the sidelines.  It is not that easy-- you have to quiet, appropriately cherry and friendly to all.  Especially in Lacrosse which is a violent sport.  I try to take a deep breath and realize that my son is in his glory and is happy to have him good old mom watching and supporting him.  That is my role-- a quiet cheerleader.  Secretly I just pray that he doesn't get hurt.  I am thrilled that he is learning to be a good loser and a good winner.  I am also thrilled that he has some of his own cheerleaders come to watch him.  It is a great lesson for me to watch, observe and enjoy!!

outrageed by Madlyn Primoff/take a bli course and be a better parent!!!

How can a mother leave her children on the side of the road? I get you might think of doing that ...but you don't actually do it... This reaffirms why what I do for a living is crucial. We need to learn to be better parents and not screw our children up. I certainly understand her stress of 2 children fighting in the car...but she left her 10 year old to be comforted by a stranger and then the police were involved. That is traumatic and totally unacceptable. Take a parenting course to handle your stress!!!! please

Dealing with stress!!

we all know when life gets stressful it gets more stressful... today I am feeling torn and ripped apart.  I know how to prioritize but I just want to get it all done and be finished.  So, what to do?

take a step back and a deep breathe.  Get into a comfy, but not too comfy, pair of jeans and start somewhere. I am trying to do the worst task first so that it will be all down hill from there.  Whoops, my daughter just called,  so had to stop and focus on that.  That is one of the most important parts of work/life balance.   Pay attention to what your priority is.   Even in writing this blog I stopeed 3 times to check my blackberry and all 3 times it was junk mail!!

Focus, Focus, Focus!!

Frequently Asked Questions about work/life balance as an Business Owner

most people come up and say "So, what is your day like?" How do I balance my own crazy schedule. I have 3 children 16, 18, and 20.. just about.. and 2 step kids 16 and 18-- today I am off from work to go to DC for my daughter who won a science competition. It is 5 am and I am working, drinking a tall cup of coffee (with skim milk!), I still have to finish packing and we are leaving for the airport in 1 hour and 30 minutes....I have all my tech things to do..facebook, linkedin, plaxo, emails... and twitter... then I reforcus my energy on me and my daughter. She goes off to college in 4 months so this is really special time.

Being an Entrepreneur

welcome to my blog about running a small coporate trainining company.  I started BLI, inc 8 years ago and what a ride it has been.  I know that there are so many blogs out there but this one is going to be totally different..really! I am going to share everything!  life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...thanks for joining me on this ride.

so lets start with today's worry and concern.... I have build a sucessful company by being 100% honest, dependable and fair.  Actually I would also add that I have helped as many people along the way as possible.  Why? because I believe in being a good person and I believe that it is good for business.. so, here is the question of the day.... what do you need when people treat you unfairly?  How do you handle that?  How do you stop that train and get off... especially if you still have to work with those people?

so, thats my quandry of the day... what I am  thinking is that at the end of the day I need to build this company on my foundations and values.... my role models Ben and Jerry!! the  best story ever...

what do you think?