Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

While work may not wait, you also can't get back valuable family life moments

The last month has been a crazy, whirlwind series of work, work, work. I have worked 60 hours a week,
barely seen my kids and cannot even recognize my husband. I see my kids being "sad" that I am not
around and even my husband misses me.

I am in the process of writing a full cover story on balance in work and life for small business owners and realize
that the irony is shocking. I need to stop and regroup and revisit my bucket system. I will never get back
those minutes of my life and while I am grateful for the work. I see how easy it is for your life to become unbalanced.

As I began to interview business people for the article, a majority of owners shared with me that they are too scared
of losing any business - that they have thrown work and life balance out the window and blame the "new economy."
One owner told me their “family will wait but their business won’t!”

This blog is screaming, yelling, ranting and raving “NO, NO, NO!” Not just to you but to myself as well.

I am one year away from being an empty-nester and never again will I have children home to see and kiss every
morning and night. Family doesn't wait and experiences are missed forever.

Yes, I am empathetic to money issues -I pay for 2 college tuitions and save for one more plus medical school -
but I know there is more to life and it seems we desperately need a wake-up call.

My fear is that all these owners who are working from
morning to night will wake up sick and alone someday.

Here is some good, concrete advice to help balance your life during this "new economy."

1. Skip many networking meetings.

Be very, very picky about which groups to join and make sure the meetings you are attending are the best and that you are spending your time wisely.

2. Block off time.

• Go through your children's school calendar and block off any necessary dates - school vacations, superintendent days, and trip days. Prom season is important and fun to be around. Don't miss it!
• Birthdays are always fun and part of being in a family.
• Block off sometime and enjoy! Way too many clients are missing their moms 70th birthdays to go to a networking group with all unemployed people.

3. Go home in a good mood.

Your family deserves to see you at your best. I know that that is not possible to do all the time but most of the time is achievable. I drive around the block two to three extra times sometimes playing some upbeat music and remind myself how blessed I am to have such a great family. When I walk through the door I am ready to be a mom! The same is true in the morning when I am going to work. I give myself extra time commuting and remind myself how much I love my job and then when I get to the client I am raring to go.

4. Nip unnecessary interruptions in the bud.

Every second of every minute of every day counts. Be conscious of time wasters!

I would love to hear from you! Comment below: how many hours a week are your working now? What family activities have you missed? How do you feel about it? Let’s start a dialogue about life choices and that way we can learn from each other!

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Creating Balance In Work and Life - Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

Creating Balance In Work and Life

 

What we can all learn from Mayor Bloomberg's love affair with himself

 

Lookiing at the most recent edition of The New Yorker- the cover depicts Mayor Bloomberg

having a love affair with himself. I was fascinated and quite honestly, somewhat motivated by

the Mayor’s comments. He said he likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror and is

happy with the choices he has made, which reminds me of my  five bucket theory for

work and life balance.

 

Obviously his finances are in total order as he is giving away most of his money,

and his salary is $1 a year. His children seem to be thriving, his relationship with

his girlfriend is stable, and he appears to be in good health.

 

So, what's the moral of his story?

 

The truth is narcissism is good for business. Whether I like his policies or not is irrelevant,

what I admire and learn from are his successes and confidence.

Many of us started businesses because we believed we could do it.

We had that extra bit of arrogance to believe we could overcome the odds.

 

The lesson of the day is let’s all be a little more narcissistic and like what

we see when we look in the mirror.

 

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers. 

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.  

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.  You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Family, Food and Holidays

Family, Food and Holidays?!
It is 24 hours after Thanksgiving and I have a stomach ache. I am still full from yesterday. That is crazy. These holidays are all about food. I know all the tricks and I still fell in the pot hole? why what happens to our brain? Does it shut off? Is it stress? and then the food kicks in and makes us feel better? I have no real complaints about the holiday only would like to go back in time and breathe,slow down, laugh more and eat way less! So, here is my question can I freeze this revelation and do it right the next time?

comments?

Back to School

Check out my latest blog:
http://www.nyreport.com/articles/76828/tips_to_balance_back_to_school_and_back_to_work

Check out my blog!!

Wendy’s post is live:
http://www.nyreport.com/articles/76605/are_you_on_the_verge_of_having_a_breakdown

a visit to the hospital

yesterday , I had quite the experience. I woke up in the middle of the night sicker than I had ever been. I will spare you all the details but needless to say I was miserable. I kept hoping that I would miraculously feel better. Hour by hour I felt worse. At 3 pm I went to the local hospital where within minutes they were treating me for dehydration and a bladder infection that had spread to the kidneys. I realized how incredibly lucky I am. I have a husband who drove me and a facility that took awesome care of me and insurance that would cover the several thousands of dollars of tests.
I also realized that I have colleagues that were willing to pitch in this morning to let me go on slow speed so I can get up to gear. As Passover and Easter begins it is important to take count of all our blessings and that is exactly what I am doing.

Lesson on building permits

So, we closed on our office.. a 1890 building that needs to be totally revamped. Little did I know how many building permits we would need! for the electricity, the plumbing, the burner, the signs... and more. It is such a lesson in perseverance. For seconds I could feel my stress raising and the confidence waining, but I hung in there and said " where there is a will, there is a way!"

Anyone else have similar stories?

BLI is moving out of the house

We closed on our office space on Friday. It is still hard to wrap my arm, hands and feet around the concept. Think of this -- for 20 years I have had a home office- I have shard a desk, computer and even a pen from time to time. The house is built in 1890 and needs a massive amount of work. I am looking forward to every step of this process and I am confident that this is going to continue my success as a small business owner. Come visit us at 112 Croton Avenue in Ossining , NY!

news on work/life balance

work/life balance has really been in the news a great deal and there is this debate if you really want to get ahead you have to work, work, work. While I do agree. I still know that when you are home you can control your mood, your attitude and your choices. 5 amazing minutes with a loved one is a hell of a lot better than 1 hour of misery. We watch 60 minutes together and laugh, or cry over the stories. It is such a wonderful bonding experience. 1 hour every week we plan on sitting, learning and talking. Just a thought

Getting re-energized about Business

Boy oh boy didn't 2009 just drain you. From the financial news every day to the layoffs to getting 3 of my kids off to college. I woke up on Jan 1, 2010 exhausted! I took a deep cleansing breath and realized that although I adore my company and job I was in the beginning phase of burnout. Me! I teach and talk about burnout regularly. So , what to do?
Recognizing it is the first bit of solving the problem Taking the step to own up is always the first step. Then for me I made 2 huge new goals. One is to go back to school and take a class on entrepreneurship. This is awesom because not only is it teaching me new skills, like search engine optimization, but I am with some new business owners who are just excited about being a business owner and their energy is contagious.
Burnout is on a the way out and productivity is kicked in!

feeling guilty-- to blog or not? a test!

I was totally caught off guard yesterday... when a few people told me that I had just stopped blogging. How dare I ? Half the people in my life tell me no one reads these things. Is this true? I will leave it up to you? Is this a valuable use of my time? Does anyone really care. what's on my mind?
Today I am responding to Sue Shellenbergers column about flexible work/times. How come not one of the people added that they exercise? or hang out with friends? Does that mean that the only time they "chill" is on the weekends? That's' sad~ I a determined from this moment on to build in 20 - 3o minutes every day for me! for cooking, which I enjoy, for running, which I moderately enjoy, for hugging my kids and husband, which I love!

building angd rebuilding the company-the tortoise and the hare story

Today was all about planning for 2010. It is hard to believe that my company, balancing life's issues, has been around for going on 9 years, but it has. So today I met a potential new client and a very good existing client. It is all about moving forward. I am so the tortoise..slow and steady. Joe Connolly was saying that it is hard to have a business that continues to do better every year...but so far so good ..we have. I listen hard and try everything and anything..including blogging. What works for you??

Divorce in the Holidays with Teens

When my children were little I thought that splitting the holidays was hard. I didn't realize that it would get weirder and harder as they got older and more independent. Now they drive and have their own lives. So, there is no custody agreement ... no piece of paper that tells them where and when to go with whom. It really is up to them and I have to accept it and move on. What have I learned is to sit down with the teens and talk to them about their expectations and wishes for this session. I do explain that they need to be firm and commit to some time with each of us. Since my ex and I do not talk they need to communicate with him as well.

Then the rest of the work is mine. I accept the path my life has taken and I examine the blessings it has given me. 3 amazing children/young adults and I cherish every second, minute, hour and day I get to have with them!!

Thanksgiving is over.. college kids are gone

The anticipation of my children coming home is over..the days zipped by and now they are back. It is the weirdest, saddest, most bizarre feeling in the world. First let me be honest I love, love, love being a mom.. it is the most fun and challenging job and passion that a person could have. I enjoy seeing what my children are capable of and the challenge of pushing them to strive for the sky. Having said that it is a bizarre worldwind when they come home. The nice clean orderly house gets in totally disarray. Food zips out of the fridge and kids come in and out and in and out....and then they are gone. Many of the clients I speak to struggle with being a parent for college age kids..they worry about curfews and feel they have lost totally control-- I tell them to be confident and listen to their own voices. I still believe that once my child always my child. In any case-- thank goodness they come home in 3 weeks!!

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

Touche! Poor choice of words but my point is right on - as a divorced > single > remarried woman the lightbulb went off to me when I realized I had to "coach" my husband (is that a less offensive word?). It has certainly increased my pursuit of happiness when he helps me do the laundry, shopping, and cooking for 5 children, 2 adults, and 4 pets.......get the point?
About Happiness
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

First off..why is a man writing this?!



As a work/life specialist I talk to thousands of women every month and this is all I hear: frustration and disappointment while waiting for their lives to get better.



Women have to speak up appopriately and let some stuff go!! I have trained my children and husband to help... HOW? I learned how to ask in a way that works.... Women need to re-prioritize and focus on the pursuit of happiness...



As I talk to my college-age daughter about this I hope to emphasize that happiness is up to us to pursue..we need to set the goals, dream the dreams and achieve all while remembering that it takes the skill of delegating and saying "no" to do this.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Its all about Motivation

Yesterday was Monday. I love Mondays. Diets start on Mondays, I exercise a little harder on Mondays, I am a good worker and parent on Mondays. Why? I am motivated. However, today is Tuesday and I am not so motivated.
In my work I see so many people set such wonderful goals and then stop. I believe the answer is motivation. So, I will re-wire my brain to motivate myself to eat well, go to the gym, send my husband a nice email and give my kids a great big hug.

Yeah for Tuesdays.... I am psyched!

A Terrible Mistake

Yesterday, I learned a valuable lesson that I knew but I needed to be reminded. Chaos broke out in my house because my 3 "children" are sharing a car. One took the car and was late getting back so I needed to drive one to work. Of course, there was screaming and yelling and more chaos.

As we were driving to work--still yelling at each other-- the traffic stopped and the parkway was closed.... apparently, one car had gone the wrong way on the highway and collided with 2 others. 8 people dead in 5 minutes.... 4 children

what were we arguing about?

Be careful with words--learning from Sotomayor

I watched the Confirmation hearings today and was intrigued with Sotomayers comments that the choice of her words wasn't just right. I so understand that. As a speaker I agonize over that all the time. Sotomayor said one thing about being a Latino and meant another thing.... We really need to take a step back and give people a break. I worry all the time that I will use the wrong word or words and that people will be offended. I do realize that you can't take back what you have said but I also know we should be able to explain what we meant..... Cant we all be a little bit more forgiving???

Maybe Parents Should Worry

I am really suprised how many parents tell me...OH, I don't worry about that? How do they do that ? I worry about all my children all the time. I have learned that that is a really good thing. I believe it is my intuition telling me I should step up to the plate and address an issue with one or all of them. For instance, I knew that my son was itching to get his license and the quicker the better. I just wasnt doing a good enough job teaching him and I was worried that he was going to pass and then drive alone!!! I really was worried.... that worry motivated me to hire a driving teacher to teach him how to merge, park, and handle changing lanes. All the things that I just couldnt' do.... so, thank you to my worries because my son passed and drove to the store for me yesterday and guess what I wasn't really worried!!!