Balancing Life's Issues | Balance In Work And Life

How To Balance Life And Work --Tool # 1 Sleep

2011-04-05T05:22:00.001-07:00

How To Balance Life And Work --Tool #1 Sleep

Our toolbox on how to balance life and work starts with the tool of sleep.

Many clients have asked me about how important sleep really is.
It is critical to our health, our immune system, our healthy eating choices,
our sex lives and I think, most importantly, to how often we laugh.

It can be a challenge to get 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night...
and there have been many nights when I would just lay in bed thinking this
is never going to work.
I would just lay there --all the thoughts of the day flooding my brain making sleep elusive.

So I decided, rather than continue to toss and turn; I would sit up and read some nice
inspirational stories and soon I was fast asleep.

Now, I have a strict bedtime of 9:30 pm to get right out of bed at 6 am ready
and eager for the day.

Here is a step by step guide for going to sleep and staying asleep.

1-    Make the commitment to add sleep to your life.
2-    Plan your bedtime right when you wake up in the morning.
3-    Have a comfortable bed, sheets, and goose down pillow!
4-    Wear comfy, warm pajamas… the ones you can’t wait to put on.
5-    Announce your bedtime to your family so everyone understands when your day is done.
6-    Prepare breakfast, empty the dishwasher, plan your dinner for the next night.
7-    Procede to your bed…wash, and slip into your sheets.
8-    Read 20 minutes of your favorite book or magazine. This is fun reading only!
No work assignments allowed.
9-    Lights out and breathe and begin the ritual of going to sleep.
10-    Focus exclusively good things in your life… list the blessings you have
11-    Do not concentrate on falling asleep. Your task is to relax and chant again
and again how wonderful, amazing you and your life is.
12-    If you do wake up in the middle of the night- do not move, get up or stir.
Just refocus and revisit your positive thoughts.

Sleep... It is the basis of positive psychology and training your brain to filter out negative
thoughts and is critically important to improving productivity. As with any new tool for the box,
as you learn how to balance life and work, it will take time and commitment to learn
and successfully utilize sleep to help you balance life.

Pleasant dreams!

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company
with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit
organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include:
Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

How To Balance Life and Work programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today
and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a
Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.
You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Balance in Work and Life - creating your toolbox for life.

2011-03-21T23:41:00.001-07:00

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Balance in Work and Life - creating your toolbox for life.

We have all heard of the anomaly called work-life balance. What is it? And is attainable?

I would like to introduce you to a new tool for your tool box to aid in your quest for a more meaningful, balanced life. I have been studying, teaching and living work and life balance for 25 years. The studying and teaching part has been easy. It is the living part that proves more difficult.

I practice what I preach intentionally utilizing all the tools that I will describe. My journey began 10 years after I started studying the need for balance in work and life. I was a working mom with 3 young children and a husband in suburbia. We shared household chores but the children were my responsibility whereas the finances were his. Many couples find living in this manner adequate. For me, life changed the day my husband left. Now, as I have come to learn, everyone has his or her own “story” that makes achieving balance so challenging. I made many attempts to “do it all” failing miserably on a daily basis.

I have developed a list of questions to self-assess the balance in your life.

Are you tired all the time?
Do you over react to the smallest of things?
How often have you said –“I wish I hadn’t said that” ?
Have you missed important life cycle events?
What do people say about you? To your face? And especially behind your back?
Do you like your life?
Do you wake up happy most of the time?
Are you loved? Do you love?

Failing this test miserably motivated me to put into action all that I had been teaching about how to pursue a balanced life. Stay tuned as I roll out my toolbag for achieving balance in work and life

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Sex, Work and Life Balance and the Happy Single

2011-02-23T16:29:00.001-08:00

Sex, Work and Life Balance and the Happy Single

While none of us likes to admit we watch or follow celebrities attempts to achieve balance in work and life, we are all fascinated by their seemingly perfect lives. Jennifer Aniston’s latest interview with People Magazine is interesting because she states that she in happy without a significant other.

Here is the problem or at least question I have with that – in order to succeed at our peak, one of our work and life balance buckets is having a significant other. Why is this so important? Because as human beings we need meaningful sexual intimacy.

True balance in work and life includes sex. Having unfulfilled urges and desires weighs on us. This is not to say that Jennifer Aniston is not having sex – but that is not the sex we are talking about here. It is not the kind that makes you feel connected with someone in meaningful way and makes you feel special so you can go out and really succeed.

There is a reason that committed happy couples live longer and it is because having a healthy sex life drives us. Jennifer is finding her happiness in other ways because her financial bucket is overflowing. She is living in denial that the other bucket does not matter. I wish in her interview she acknowledged the fact that her relationship (sex) bucket needs work. Since this is a balance in work and life blog I would be remiss if I didn’t include sexual relationships in that.

I know I am going to get a lot of comments on this from those who are alone and believe they are happy, bring it on! I want to hear about your work and life balance issues.

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and health wellness programs.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

2011-02-17T07:18:00.001-08:00

Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

While work may not wait, you also can't get back valuable family life moments

The last month has been a crazy, whirlwind series of work, work, work. I have worked 60 hours a week,
barely seen my kids and cannot even recognize my husband. I see my kids being "sad" that I am not
around and even my husband misses me.

I am in the process of writing a full cover story on balance in work and life for small business owners and realize
that the irony is shocking. I need to stop and regroup and revisit my bucket system. I will never get back
those minutes of my life and while I am grateful for the work. I see how easy it is for your life to become unbalanced.

As I began to interview business people for the article, a majority of owners shared with me that they are too scared
of losing any business - that they have thrown work and life balance out the window and blame the "new economy."
One owner told me their “family will wait but their business won’t!”

This blog is screaming, yelling, ranting and raving “NO, NO, NO!” Not just to you but to myself as well.

I am one year away from being an empty-nester and never again will I have children home to see and kiss every
morning and night. Family doesn't wait and experiences are missed forever.

Yes, I am empathetic to money issues -I pay for 2 college tuitions and save for one more plus medical school -
but I know there is more to life and it seems we desperately need a wake-up call.

My fear is that all these owners who are working from
morning to night will wake up sick and alone someday.

Here is some good, concrete advice to help balance your life during this "new economy."

1. Skip many networking meetings.

Be very, very picky about which groups to join and make sure the meetings you are attending are the best and that you are spending your time wisely.

2. Block off time.

Go through your children's school calendar and block off any necessary dates - school vacations, superintendent days, and trip days. Prom season is important and fun to be around. Don't miss it!
Birthdays are always fun and part of being in a family.
Block off sometime and enjoy! Way too many clients are missing their moms 70th birthdays to go to a networking group with all unemployed people.

3. Go home in a good mood.

Your family deserves to see you at your best. I know that that is not possible to do all the time but most of the time is achievable. I drive around the block two to three extra times sometimes playing some upbeat music and remind myself how blessed I am to have such a great family. When I walk through the door I am ready to be a mom! The same is true in the morning when I am going to work. I give myself extra time commuting and remind myself how much I love my job and then when I get to the client I am raring to go.

4. Nip unnecessary interruptions in the bud.

Every second of every minute of every day counts. Be conscious of time wasters!

I would love to hear from you! Comment below: how many hours a week are your working now? What family activities have you missed? How do you feel about it? Let’s start a dialogue about life choices and that way we can learn from each other!

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Creating Balance In Work and Life - Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

2011-02-15T09:48:00.001-08:00

Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

Creating Balance In Work and Life

What we can all learn from Mayor Bloomberg's love affair with himself

Lookiing at the most recent edition of The New Yorker- the cover depicts Mayor Bloomberg

having a love affair with himself. I was fascinated and quite honestly, somewhat motivated by

the Mayor’s comments. He said he likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror and is

happy with the choices he has made, which reminds me of my five bucket theory for

work and life balance.

Obviously his finances are in total order as he is giving away most of his money,

and his salary is $1 a year. His children seem to be thriving, his relationship with

his girlfriend is stable, and he appears to be in good health.

So, what's the moral of his story?

The truth is narcissism is good for business. Whether I like his policies or not is irrelevant,

what I admire and learn from are his successes and confidence.

Many of us started businesses because we believed we could do it.

We had that extra bit of arrogance to believe we could overcome the odds.

The lesson of the day is let’s all be a little more narcissistic and like what

we see when we look in the mirror.

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Family, Food and Holidays

2010-11-26T14:41:00.001-08:00

Family, Food and Holidays?!
It is 24 hours after Thanksgiving and I have a stomach ache. I am still full from yesterday. That is crazy. These holidays are all about food. I know all the tricks and I still fell in the pot hole? why what happens to our brain? Does it shut off? Is it stress? and then the food kicks in and makes us feel better? I have no real complaints about the holiday only would like to go back in time and breathe,slow down, laugh more and eat way less! So, here is my question can I freeze this revelation and do it right the next time?

comments?

Back to School

2010-09-07T09:20:00.001-07:00

Check out my latest blog:
http://www.nyreport.com/articles/76828/tips_to_balance_back_to_school_and_back_to_work

Check out my blog!!

2010-08-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Wendy’s post is live:
http://www.nyreport.com/articles/76605/are_you_on_the_verge_of_having_a_breakdown

a visit to the hospital

2010-03-29T05:44:00.001-07:00

yesterday , I had quite the experience. I woke up in the middle of the night sicker than I had ever been. I will spare you all the details but needless to say I was miserable. I kept hoping that I would miraculously feel better. Hour by hour I felt worse. At 3 pm I went to the local hospital where within minutes they were treating me for dehydration and a bladder infection that had spread to the kidneys. I realized how incredibly lucky I am. I have a husband who drove me and a facility that took awesome care of me and insurance that would cover the several thousands of dollars of tests.
I also realized that I have colleagues that were willing to pitch in this morning to let me go on slow speed so I can get up to gear. As Passover and Easter begins it is important to take count of all our blessings and that is exactly what I am doing.

Lesson on building permits

2010-03-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

So, we closed on our office.. a 1890 building that needs to be totally revamped. Little did I know how many building permits we would need! for the electricity, the plumbing, the burner, the signs... and more. It is such a lesson in perseverance. For seconds I could feel my stress raising and the confidence waining, but I hung in there and said " where there is a will, there is a way!"

Anyone else have similar stories?

BLI is moving out of the house

2010-03-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

We closed on our office space on Friday. It is still hard to wrap my arm, hands and feet around the concept. Think of this -- for 20 years I have had a home office- I have shard a desk, computer and even a pen from time to time. The house is built in 1890 and needs a massive amount of work. I am looking forward to every step of this process and I am confident that this is going to continue my success as a small business owner. Come visit us at 112 Croton Avenue in Ossining , NY!

news on work/life balance

2010-03-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

work/life balance has really been in the news a great deal and there is this debate if you really want to get ahead you have to work, work, work. While I do agree. I still know that when you are home you can control your mood, your attitude and your choices. 5 amazing minutes with a loved one is a hell of a lot better than 1 hour of misery. We watch 60 minutes together and laugh, or cry over the stories. It is such a wonderful bonding experience. 1 hour every week we plan on sitting, learning and talking. Just a thought

Getting re-energized about Business

2010-03-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

Boy oh boy didn't 2009 just drain you. From the financial news every day to the layoffs to getting 3 of my kids off to college. I woke up on Jan 1, 2010 exhausted! I took a deep cleansing breath and realized that although I adore my company and job I was in the beginning phase of burnout. Me! I teach and talk about burnout regularly. So , what to do?
Recognizing it is the first bit of solving the problem Taking the step to own up is always the first step. Then for me I made 2 huge new goals. One is to go back to school and take a class on entrepreneurship. This is awesom because not only is it teaching me new skills, like search engine optimization, but I am with some new business owners who are just excited about being a business owner and their energy is contagious.
Burnout is on a the way out and productivity is kicked in!

feeling guilty-- to blog or not? a test!

2010-02-24T04:50:00.000-08:00

I was totally caught off guard yesterday... when a few people told me that I had just stopped blogging. How dare I ? Half the people in my life tell me no one reads these things. Is this true? I will leave it up to you? Is this a valuable use of my time? Does anyone really care. what's on my mind?
Today I am responding to Sue Shellenbergers column about flexible work/times. How come not one of the people added that they exercise? or hang out with friends? Does that mean that the only time they "chill" is on the weekends? That's' sad~ I a determined from this moment on to build in 20 - 3o minutes every day for me! for cooking, which I enjoy, for running, which I moderately enjoy, for hugging my kids and husband, which I love!

building angd rebuilding the company-the tortoise and the hare story

2009-12-04T16:34:00.000-08:00

Today was all about planning for 2010. It is hard to believe that my company, balancing life's issues, has been around for going on 9 years, but it has. So today I met a potential new client and a very good existing client. It is all about moving forward. I am so the tortoise..slow and steady. Joe Connolly was saying that it is hard to have a business that continues to do better every year...but so far so good ..we have. I listen hard and try everything and anything..including blogging. What works for you??

Divorce in the Holidays with Teens

2009-12-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

When my children were little I thought that splitting the holidays was hard. I didn't realize that it would get weirder and harder as they got older and more independent. Now they drive and have their own lives. So, there is no custody agreement ... no piece of paper that tells them where and when to go with whom. It really is up to them and I have to accept it and move on. What have I learned is to sit down with the teens and talk to them about their expectations and wishes for this session. I do explain that they need to be firm and commit to some time with each of us. Since my ex and I do not talk they need to communicate with him as well.

Then the rest of the work is mine. I accept the path my life has taken and I examine the blessings it has given me. 3 amazing children/young adults and I cherish every second, minute, hour and day I get to have with them!!

Thanksgiving is over.. college kids are gone

2009-11-29T14:59:00.001-08:00

The anticipation of my children coming home is over..the days zipped by and now they are back. It is the weirdest, saddest, most bizarre feeling in the world. First let me be honest I love, love, love being a mom.. it is the most fun and challenging job and passion that a person could have. I enjoy seeing what my children are capable of and the challenge of pushing them to strive for the sky. Having said that it is a bizarre worldwind when they come home. The nice clean orderly house gets in totally disarray. Food zips out of the fridge and kids come in and out and in and out....and then they are gone. Many of the clients I speak to struggle with being a parent for college age kids..they worry about curfews and feel they have lost totally control-- I tell them to be confident and listen to their own voices. I still believe that once my child always my child. In any case-- thank goodness they come home in 3 weeks!!

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

2009-09-18T08:39:00.001-07:00

Touche! Poor choice of words but my point is right on - as a divorced > single > remarried woman the lightbulb went off to me when I realized I had to "coach" my husband (is that a less offensive word?). It has certainly increased my pursuit of happiness when he helps me do the laundry, shopping, and cooking for 5 children, 2 adults, and 4 pets.......get the point?
About Happiness
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling

2009-09-18T07:47:00.001-07:00

First off..why is a man writing this?!

As a work/life specialist I talk to thousands of women every month and this is all I hear: frustration and disappointment while waiting for their lives to get better.

Women have to speak up appopriately and let some stuff go!! I have trained my children and husband to help... HOW? I learned how to ask in a way that works.... Women need to re-prioritize and focus on the pursuit of happiness...

As I talk to my college-age daughter about this I hope to emphasize that happiness is up to us to pursue..we need to set the goals, dream the dreams and achieve all while remembering that it takes the skill of delegating and saying "no" to do this.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Its all about Motivation

2009-07-28T04:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Monday. I love Mondays. Diets start on Mondays, I exercise a little harder on Mondays, I am a good worker and parent on Mondays. Why? I am motivated. However, today is Tuesday and I am not so motivated.
In my work I see so many people set such wonderful goals and then stop. I believe the answer is motivation. So, I will re-wire my brain to motivate myself to eat well, go to the gym, send my husband a nice email and give my kids a great big hug.

Yeah for Tuesdays.... I am psyched!

A Terrible Mistake

2009-07-27T02:03:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I learned a valuable lesson that I knew but I needed to be reminded. Chaos broke out in my house because my 3 "children" are sharing a car. One took the car and was late getting back so I needed to drive one to work. Of course, there was screaming and yelling and more chaos.

As we were driving to work--still yelling at each other-- the traffic stopped and the parkway was closed.... apparently, one car had gone the wrong way on the highway and collided with 2 others. 8 people dead in 5 minutes.... 4 children

what were we arguing about?

Be careful with words--learning from Sotomayor

2009-07-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

I watched the Confirmation hearings today and was intrigued with Sotomayers comments that the choice of her words wasn't just right. I so understand that. As a speaker I agonize over that all the time. Sotomayor said one thing about being a Latino and meant another thing.... We really need to take a step back and give people a break. I worry all the time that I will use the wrong word or words and that people will be offended. I do realize that you can't take back what you have said but I also know we should be able to explain what we meant..... Cant we all be a little bit more forgiving???

Maybe Parents Should Worry

2009-07-09T03:24:00.001-07:00

I am really suprised how many parents tell me...OH, I don't worry about that? How do they do that ? I worry about all my children all the time. I have learned that that is a really good thing. I believe it is my intuition telling me I should step up to the plate and address an issue with one or all of them. For instance, I knew that my son was itching to get his license and the quicker the better. I just wasnt doing a good enough job teaching him and I was worried that he was going to pass and then drive alone!!! I really was worried.... that worry motivated me to hire a driving teacher to teach him how to merge, park, and handle changing lanes. All the things that I just couldnt' do.... so, thank you to my worries because my son passed and drove to the store for me yesterday and guess what I wasn't really worried!!!

Opporunity to Speak in Jordan

2009-07-08T03:26:00.000-07:00

I am so excited ... I have been asked to be a corporate ambassador next month at a global conference in Jordan. this is a chance for me to learn and speak about what I truly believe is my passion..work/life balance.... the right combination. It is this that motivated to get up out of my nice comfy bed and drive my 20 year old to work. Why? Because that gives us 10 minutes of quality time to chat and connect. Then I am off to the gym? Why? not because I like it ( I wish!) but because it feels amazing when it is done. That just starts my day..then my 16 year old takes his driving test.... boy, do I have a mix bag of emotions there...But all in all I have a great life that is a scrambled mix of work. life, love and emotion---

Dont be afraid of your children..or Teenagers

2009-06-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, we really do know better. It hit me last night that I parent the best when I look deep inside of myself and trust me. It is my instinct that seems to help steer me in the right direction. I need to take a deep breath and understand that they may also include conflict and discourse but that's my job. I signed up to do my very best. I have been helping my son get a summer job and it has been incredibly frustrating. I feel like ripping the phone from him and doing it myself. That is not the point. I must mentor and teach him the life skills to do it himself even if it means he loses the job....UGH!!

Outraged Parent-Rule to be a Decent Parent

2009-06-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

How do you not pick up your child on time? I do not understand how that can happen. If your child is away or at a party don't you establish a pick up time and be there 10 minutes early? Especially today when we have cell phones we can reach our children/teenagers and work out a plan. It is not the responsibility of the world to get your child home. I have seen teens not have anyone there and not only does it break my heart I worry that they will never get home. As much as I believe that it takes a village to raise a child please be responsible for your own first!

Preparing the Parent for Prom

2009-06-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

So this is a big week for our family. both my step-son and daughter have their proms. Thankfully, they are not on the same day. I have decided to print out an agenda and to do list. Dress, Tuxs, limos, buses, weekend schedule..It is really insane but amazing. I now realize that the Prom is a ritual that will help my children transition to the next stage of their life--college. I must admit I am so anxious. I am jealous that my parents couldn't call me during or after the Prom (obviously we did not have cell phones) I am going to try very, very hard not to call and keep the worrying to a minimual. Will I succeed? I would love to hear from other parents on making the Prom fun and safe!

SuperMoms Roundtable

2009-05-21T12:05:00.001-07:00

WNBC 4NY Logos_Rev4
Originally uploaded by Kloomba

I am pleased to inform you all that I will be a panelist in the SuperMoms Roundtable- an event organized by Go Red and for a great cause- Women's Heart Health! Please click on the image to the right to learn more information.

Gearing Up for the end of school year

2009-05-18T10:23:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I went with my children and a friend to the mall. We were graduation shopping. All I saw was moms with their babies in their strollers. Then I saw young children playing in the Build a Bear workshop. What happened with my children? Where did the time go? I am so sad that the days have gone by. This week is my daughter last ballet recital. She started when she was 3---and now 14 years later it is over.

What I have learned--

today when I go to my son's lacrosse game I am going to focus and be grateful that he is still in high school and I can go to the game ( an added bonus is it is not raining!). I am reminded how much I love my children and get to hug and kiss them one more time.

I have also learned that I am not done being a parent and that I still get to make my mark on them. I am infusing as many of my values as I possibly can. I am motivated to have that extra discussion with them.

Lets all enjoy the day to day routines before they are over!!

Daniel Comes Home for College

2009-05-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

Saturday my 20 year old son comes home from college. I am so excited, nervous, and worried. We had a long talk about readjusting to Home life and being "parented" again. It brings to mind that we need to prepare to have him home again.
1-- talk about family rules and respect issues. Is it OK to stay out all night? Why or why not?
2--helping in the house-this is a big adjustment where in college you just take care of you
3--talk, talk, and talk.... it maybe 2 minutes at a time but talk through all the range of emotions.
4- acknowledge how Daniel is feeling.. it is hard for me but super hard for him.

so, hopefully after some conversations, and maybe in conflicts, we will get back in to a routine and develop an even stronger bond. I am certainly looking forward to trying!!!!

Not happy with how I handled my son

2009-04-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my 16 year old son found out that he is out of Lacrosse for 1 week (or more) due to a possible concussion. He is feeling disappointed and frustrated about not being able to play in today's big game. He had such a difficult morning getting ready for school and mouthed off quite a few times. I should have just walked away, put some music on or left early for the gym.

Instead I went right into argument and made it 100 times worse than it needed to be. What did I do? Yell back, Focus on his negative behavior and criticize him. What should I have done? It is so important to remember as a parent that we are the teachers, the role model. I truly could have more been patient, walked away, hugged him and let it all go.

I will tell him I am sorry and learn from this... .thank goodness I get a do over to be a better parent!

Radio Show Interviews on Work/Life Balance for the Monday Morning Blues

2009-04-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

Lately, people have been asking me about work/life balance during a Recession. It is even more important today to make sure that are lives stay well-balanced. The idea is if we work really, really, really hard than nothing can happen to our jobs...not true!!!! we have to enjoy our whole lives, our friends, our family, our homes, pets... more than ever. So, that we can go back to work reenergized and feeling good. That way we can contribute the most to work and be the team player that everyone wants to work with. Get up , exercise, eat a healthy small portion breakfast and crank out monday and the rest of the week will be all good.

Watching my Sons Lacrosse Game

2009-04-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Today is my son's JV lacrosse game. I have learned, finally how to be a good mom and watch from the sidelines. It is not that easy-- you have to quiet, appropriately cherry and friendly to all. Especially in Lacrosse which is a violent sport. I try to take a deep breath and realize that my son is in his glory and is happy to have him good old mom watching and supporting him. That is my role-- a quiet cheerleader. Secretly I just pray that he doesn't get hurt. I am thrilled that he is learning to be a good loser and a good winner. I am also thrilled that he has some of his own cheerleaders come to watch him. It is a great lesson for me to watch, observe and enjoy!!

outrageed by Madlyn Primoff/take a bli course and be a better parent!!!

2009-04-23T03:55:00.000-07:00

How can a mother leave her children on the side of the road? I get you might think of doing that ...but you don't actually do it... This reaffirms why what I do for a living is crucial. We need to learn to be better parents and not screw our children up. I certainly understand her stress of 2 children fighting in the car...but she left her 10 year old to be comforted by a stranger and then the police were involved. That is traumatic and totally unacceptable. Take a parenting course to handle your stress!!!! please

Dealing with stress!!

2009-04-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

we all know when life gets stressful it gets more stressful... today I am feeling torn and ripped apart. I know how to prioritize but I just want to get it all done and be finished. So, what to do?

take a step back and a deep breathe. Get into a comfy, but not too comfy, pair of jeans and start somewhere. I am trying to do the worst task first so that it will be all down hill from there. Whoops, my daughter just called, so had to stop and focus on that. That is one of the most important parts of work/life balance. Pay attention to what your priority is. Even in writing this blog I stopeed 3 times to check my blackberry and all 3 times it was junk mail!!

Focus, Focus, Focus!!

2009-04-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

Frequently Asked Questions about work/life balance as an Business Owner

most people come up and say "So, what is your day like?" How do I balance my own crazy schedule. I have 3 children 16, 18, and 20.. just about.. and 2 step kids 16 and 18-- today I am off from work to go to DC for my daughter who won a science competition. It is 5 am and I am working, drinking a tall cup of coffee (with skim milk!), I still have to finish packing and we are leaving for the airport in 1 hour and 30 minutes....I have all my tech things to do..facebook, linkedin, plaxo, emails... and twitter... then I reforcus my energy on me and my daughter. She goes off to college in 4 months so this is really special time.

Being an Entrepreneur

2009-04-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

welcome to my blog about running a small coporate trainining company. I started BLI, inc 8 years ago and what a ride it has been. I know that there are so many blogs out there but this one is going to be totally different..really! I am going to share everything! life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...thanks for joining me on this ride.

so lets start with today's worry and concern.... I have build a sucessful company by being 100% honest, dependable and fair. Actually I would also add that I have helped as many people along the way as possible. Why? because I believe in being a good person and I believe that it is good for business.. so, here is the question of the day.... what do you need when people treat you unfairly? How do you handle that? How do you stop that train and get off... especially if you still have to work with those people?

so, thats my quandry of the day... what I am thinking is that at the end of the day I need to build this company on my foundations and values.... my role models Ben and Jerry!! the best story ever...

what do you think?